ON BENDED KNEE

Please Join me in the

Prayer for LIFE

 The prayer campaign inspired by Pope John Paul II, supported by the Sister's of Life 

and Knight's of Columbus

TRUST~SURRENDER~BELIEVE~RECEIVE

My retreat this past weekend with 

THE SISTER'S OF LIFE

I was comforted, consoled, cradled in the arms of Jesus.

I Trusted, I Surrendered all to the Lord, I believed in his Love and Mercy and I received his abundant Grace.

It was a very personal walk with Christ for me, I recommend to everyone this personal encounter with God and yourself. 

Retreating to the "dessert" you hear the voice of your creator...it is filled with spiritual growth and discernment.

There is no vacation, or place you can go that can provide your heart with this kind of spiritual peace. It is a must for anyone who wants to know the heart of Jesus, his love and mercy. It allows you to shut out the world and find the real you, consider the transformation that can take place. 

If we can change our heart to love like Jesus and Mary....we can make a difference in the world.

I will be for every grateful to Mother Agnes and the Sister's of Life for providing me with my personal and spiritual enrichment. 

Their house is filled with Love and Grace from the moment you step inside.

May God continue to bless you sister's for your dedicated work.

http://sistersoflife.org/villa-maria-guadalupe-retreats

inspiration is contagious

inspiration is contagious

We are trying to help in the fight against Cystic Fibrosis, as we have since Nicole was diagnosed at the age of 2. This time we are not only fund raising for the annual CF walk a thon we are starting a foundation to honor Nicole. Some of the things we are working on are a golf outing in July, and dollar pin ups in the local stores, as well as the Shoprites possibly nation wide! Also There is a link attached to vote for the ESPN coach of the year.

The ESPN coach that has the most votes by early March will win $100,000 to the charity of their choice!   Guess what -  East Coast Seton Hall coach Kevin Willard has chosen Cystic Fibrosis Foundation as the charity of his choice. 

The more votes for him, the bigger our chance to win $ 100,000 for research! 

Nicole was a student at Seton Hall, lets give him our support and get that money for research. What a great way to honor him and to benefit the much needed research to wipe CF off the planet. Please join me in every effort to help save the life of another child....cystic fibrosis can hit any home. 

Together we can make a difference 

 http://promo.espn.go.com/espn/contests/infiniti/2012/index  please vote for coach Kevin Willard

Finding Peace

This weekend I will go on my first religious retreat,

I ask for your prayers that I may be comforted and consoled, accepting God's will and strength to do his work.

Time passes, but the heartaches. This is not a test of our faith, but a test of our humanness. 

Learning to move forward when the heart hurts so much, is what we are working on.

Uniting our hearts to the cross, trusting in God's Mercy.

JESUS I TRUST IN YOU, you are holding my angel for me

 Dear Lord, I thank You for this day,
I thank You for my being able to see
and to hear this morning. I’m blessed because You are
a forgiving God and an understanding God.
You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me,
Forgive me this Day for everything
I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to you.
Please keep me safe from all danger and harm.
Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude.
Let me make the best of each and every day
to clear my mind so that I can hear from You.
Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things.
Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over.
And give me the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits.
I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart.
Continue to use me to do Your will. Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others.
 Keep me strong that I may help the weak... Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others.

I pray for those that are lost and can’t find their way.
I pray for those that are misjudged and misunderstood,
I pray for those who don't know You intimately.
I pray for those that don't believe. But I thank You that I believe
that God changes people and God changes things. 

I pray for my husband, my children and my family, My sisters, brothers and each  family member in their households. My Godchildren, Nieces, Nephews, cousins,
All My Friends, priests and sisters
I pray for peace, love and joy in their homes.
  I pray that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or situation greater than God.
Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight.
I pray that these words be received
into the hearts of every eye that sees it
in Jesus’ name.  Amen!

1/28/2012

Today marks 4 months

Four months without our angel Nicole

Today as most days,was difficult. We are trying harder everyday to move forward. But how is that possible when you spent 27 years caring for and protecting your precious child? Every day a challenge against time, trying to keep someone you love alive takes everything you have and that is what we gave...everything.

I will tell you how you continue to breathe...you say the following prayer:

Because after all no matter what we do in this life, God has the plan in place, and trusting him is the only way to find peace.
"Courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference"

I say it all day long.

acceptance

Whether here on earth or from heaven, a mother's heart is connected to her child forever

Dear God

Today in Adoration, I poured my broken heart out to the Lord. I prayed, I cried, I said thank you.

Dear God,

This letter is long over due, although I know you listen to my heart. Today I felt the need to say that when I first got married to the man of my dreams ,as all new brides, I  had no idea what life would hold for me. I only new I was in love and life would be wonderful. When we started to hope for a family I prayed to you every night asking for girls, you heard me and my precious daughters were our life. As a new mother, again thinking how blessed we were and how wonderful having a family was, we never in our naivety thought our life could become so fragile. At the age of two my precious first born daughter was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis, a disease for which there is no cure. Although I have been a faithful servant all my life, It made me depressed, I was in denial, angry and I did not understand how this could happen to us. I withdrew for a short time, I had to figure things out, absorb this terrible shock. And then in intense prayer one day you said to me "she is an angel, my gift to you" I heard it in my heart, I knew you entrusted these two beautiful lives to my care, but always... they belong to you. I did the very best I could, from every waking moment I was there for them, through the night, listening, making sure I was the best mother I could be, and always Lord teaching them about you and trusting in your love. Over the years our hearts became one heart, they were my air. I looked forward to and embraced being a mother more than anything in the world. My family was and is everything to me, because they were your gift. But Lord you knew all this, you watched me, you guided my every step, you helped me when things were difficult and you showed me how to love with no barriers. The disease Nicole suffered was not from you, but you knew it would make us strong in our faith, in our example of our faith and I trusted you every second of her life. She and we, never asked why, that disease taught us to live, to love and to count our blessings.It was a constant source of hope for us and people who knew us. For that I'm thankful. I have thanked you every night since as long as I can remember. So why Lord am I writing to you now? 

 Because I feel so broken inside, knowing all that I do, the pain remains. 

So, you hearing our pains, sent us another gift....the announcement of 

Tina and Tom's engagement. 

 

We again have hope for the future in the darkness of our loss. You always know how to help us when we ask. Having this new exciting news about Tina & Tom gives our family some happiness to look forward to.

Again I thank you for the angel you have in heaven and the one you left me to console my heart.

                  I will forever be grateful for the gifts. I love you always and trust you in all things.

Trying daily to seek the good, for the love of God, and my Angel in heaven

A Landscape Without Gravity

Learning about grief is something we wish we didn't have to do, but the reality is we need to understand. They say all the first's are the most difficult. Our family had no time to wait for the first's they came within two months of loosing our precious angels.We have survived Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, the 4th wedding anniversary, and the due date of our grandson. All in this very brief window of time. Perhaps that is why we are looking at a landscape without gravity. There are no maps to guide us through this fresh grief. Others try and help by sharing their journey, each one different. They show us it is possible to turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones.
Some important facts about this unknown journey: There will be sudden" grief attacks", in the beginning we are the most confused and least interested in the things we used to care about. We must decide how to get through each new day. Some days getting out of bed may take all the energy we have. Trips to everyday places like the grocery store feel like climbing a mountain.Just seeing Nicole's favorite foods can make you cry in the isle.That is what a "grief attack" is, it is sudden and unexpected and those around you don't know what to do. We build a shelter around us, try and hide the pain for a time when we are home and alone and the flood gates can open. Letting it out, talking it through is essential.
Expect exhaustion and disruption: It is difficult to sleep, changes occur in appetite and blood pressure, tense muscles, and a weakened immune system are all symptoms we have. It's important to tell your doctor about your loss, you are in no state of mind to care for yourself.
When returning to work you may feel vulnerable, less confident in your abilities, less able to concentrate, distracted by memories and flooded with emotions that disrupt thinking. For some, work or school become a good distraction and allows you to take your mind off the grief for a while.Each of us individual and doing what works for us. Grieving requires enormous energy, but pretending that you're not grieving requires even more.You have to go through the steps in your own time, but fully.

We cling to HOPE, our FAITH and our LOVE for each other, that is what sustains us. God is holding these fragile hearts and trying to help us mend. A good analogy is each day is like winding up a ball of string. You start with and end and wind and wind. Then the ball slips and rolls across the floor. Some of the work is undone,but not all. You pick it up and start over again, but never do you have to begin at the end of the string. The ball never completely unwinds; you've made some progress.That is how each day is for our family right now....the ball of string that we wind but continue to drop and wind again.

TRUTH

The truth is inside I feel dead

On the outside I try and smile

God and only God knows my heart

This weekend and the holidays were so difficult for my family

each of us hurting so bad we can not help each other...

together we pray, together we reminisce of the happy times we shared and then we hold onto the blessings

The blessings of the life we gave Nicole and the blessings of the life of Tina

Each day is a struggle to move forward as the world does, 

but for those of us who lost our loves... it is painful

 we try so hard to fit into this new mind and body, 

uncomfortable, but still we try

Our family and friends always there, feeling helpless because there are no words to change this life of ours.

Our hearts go out to all who are hurting....the pain unmeasurable, lets vow to reflect together on the happiest of times in remembrance of our loved ones, we know they are at peace

Pray God will comfort us and bring us that peace we so need.

All people, at some point in their lives, will find themselves coping with grief. It is important to let feelings occur naturally and reach out for help when it is offered. Grief can’t be rushed, but must be experienced in all of its stages in order to regain a "normal life". Knowing what to expect and accepting the feelings as a part of the normal process won’t make the grieving process any shorter, but might make it a little easier to cope.

We all need the time to heal