Tuesday Night

This was a difficult but also joyous weekend, if that is even possible. 

Saturday we went with Tina and Tom to book their wedding date,we are so happy for them. 

 And then Lou and I headed to the funeral home to pick out Nicole's headstone. Talk about going from one emotion to the other...it knocked us out emotionally.

 We spent the next few days in pj's not wanting to do anything or talk to anyone. This is the part that most don't understand. We are putting on a happy face when we are with you, we are trying to act "normal", but there is no normal for us right now. It takes every bit of our energy to get up and dressed in the morning, its not what we want to do. We want to hold onto each other and stay in all day hoping to wake from this nightmare. Unless you have been in this place it is difficult to understand how unimportant everything else is. Yet we are doing what we must to survive. We are at least finding joy in the planning of Tina and Tom's new life. That is our hope right now, and Hope is what we must cling to. God's grace and abundant prayer to help us when this place gets dark. Darkness strikes when you least expect it...out of no where, there it is, and prayer must follow it quickly to get you out of it.

 I count my blessings everyday that my faith is holding me together..without it I don't think I would make it. Thank you Jesus for living in my heart.