Spending time with my angel

Mother's day

My precious daughter's, Thank You for making everyday for me

 "Mother's Day"

I

You gave me the greatest Joy of my life and I will be forever thankful to God, for trusting me with your Life. I have loved you both with my whole heart and soul.....time and space can never separate our hearts

 I cherish you and every memory

The Perfect Mother

Your Smile Says it all

My beautiful Grandson

Remembering on Mother's Day the sacrifice your Mother made for you....you were her dream come true, as she was mine. 







Forever in my heart & soul

 Nicole My Angel....in a few days Tina will be getting married. Watch over her, stand beside her, help her to feel your presence on this special day.

We have been going through the motions missing your input and your laugh, be with us now as she takes the biggest step in her life. 

And then continue to pray and guide her in her marriage from heaven as I know you would if you where here.

This will be a beautiful day because we know you are with us.

Our hearts heavy, and happy at the same time.

Lord give us your grace

my angel

Holy Week

Holy Week

We Walk in the footsteps of Jesus

March 6

OUR ANGEL IN HEAVEN

March 6th, the day you changed our lives

Happy 29th Birthday

Love to see that smile,Thank you God for the gift

 missing you so much

02/12/13

My Angel My Love

Over the last few months it has been very difficult for me to write

The reality of never seeing those beautiful eyes, kissing her face or giving her advice, has been a total reality check that has settled into my soul

I'm not saying it wasn't before, but I think the loss of Nicole was so devastating that we were mostly numb. Losing my daughter has taken a piece of heart and that in itself is unexplainable.

Now as we approach life without her everything has to change for us.

All our hopes and dreams of her precious life have come to an end and there are many days it is hard to look forward. The world continues to live, as our family continues our struggle. It is only by God's Grace Love and Mercy that we go on without Nicole.

I feel at this time I will only be writing if the Holy Spirit prompts me.

i will devote more time to prayer and my family.

As we approach the season of Lent I need to deepen my soul for God's comfort. To continue to do his work and place my trust in his will.

This is the perfect time for us as Christians to deepen our faith, to learn about our faith and to make some sacrifices as God sacrificed his son Jesus for us.

The power of prayer will console, and feed your soul.

Let God in and watch your life transform.

"you cannot prevent the Bird of Sorrow from flying over your head, but you can keep him from nesting in your hair "

We will all have sorrow, but with God as our anchor, we can accept life's trials

New Year

Two sisters...one heart. Another New Year without you

Remembering the great times you shared 

thanking God for all you continue to bring us, in your constant presence 

of Faith and Love

Christmas

Last year we were numb....this year we are aching....missing all our traditions...missing the JOY you gave us

Twas’ 11 Days before Christmas around 9:38

When 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven’s gate.

Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.

They could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

They were filled with such joy, they didn’t know what to say.

They remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.

“Where are we?” asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.

“This is Heaven” declared a small boy. 

“We’re spending Christmas at God’s house."

When what did their wondering eyes did appear,

Buy Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.

He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.

Then He opened His arms and He called them by name,

and in that moment was joy, that only Heaven can bring,

Those children all flew into the arms of their king.

And as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,

One small girl turned and looked at Jesus’ face.

And as if He could read all the questions she had,

He gently whispered to her, “I’ll take care of mom and dad.”

Then he looked down on earth, the world far below,

He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow and woe.

Then He closed his eyes and He outstretched His hand,

“Let My power and presence re-enter this land!”

“May this country be delivered from the hands of fools”

“I’m taking back My nation. I’m taking back my schools!”

Then He and the children stood up without a sound.

“Come now My children, let Me show you around.”

Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran

All displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,

“In the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT.”

Broken Hearts

Our Hearts are broken for the families in Newtown Conneticut 

It is at tragic times like these, we we can't understand the reason
why bad things happen to good and innocent people...some get angry at God. Blame God.
Remember God gave us Free Will, how we live with free will is a responsibility we all have to each other. Our freedom of choice effects everyone.
 Evil will always exist in the world. But we as the faithful, must unite our hearts to change the world by our life, our example. To be responsible in how we raise our children.That our actions in life reflect our faith...everywhere.

Our role through this tragedy is to lift each other up in prayer.
To remain Faithful

Only the Father can console the hearts of these broken families.
It is now,in times of darkness, that we lock our hearts and draw closer to Jesus who is the source of all consolation and light.
Our prayers should surround these families, parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles cousins, friends....we have all been touched. 
In each heartache, good prevails, if we open our hearts.

Continue to pray,call on Jesus for understanding, help and consolation.
Gentle heart of Jesus help us, heal us, protect us.

Prayer of St. Francis by Sarah MacLachlan - 
 http://youtu.be/1G4MqMe7Luc

Honor a Life well lived

 This is the season of ADVENT...the weeks leading up to CHRISTMAS. 

A time of waiting and preparing for the birth of our Savior

JESUS CHRIST....

remember in all your hustle and bustle to stop and reflect on 

THE REASON FOR THE SEASON 

JESUS

 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=g6RlCSSbBXk

For You Nicole : ) 

 love and miss you everyday

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving

 Has anyone ever said to you "count your blessings?"

This is a good day to start...Thanksgiving, a time to be thankful for all we have. So much is taken for granted, our health, our life, our family and friends, our jobs and the list goes on and on.

Yet we continue to bustle through the day without giving a thought to all we have....stop... think about it for a moment, all the gifts God has given you, they are endless.

And the heartaches, trials, pain and suffering in our lives are gifts as well. They are opportunities to draw closer to Jesus, who understands true suffering as both human and divine.

This is where you gain strength to overcome the pain and the hurts. 
...because as you allow him into your heart you are consoled. 
You are cradled in his arms and he holds and heals your broken heart.

Only Our Father in heaven can help us, and until you surrender your heart to him, you will never understand that you were meant to be here to share your many gifts. So count your blessings for all you have, and embrace your suffering to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Permit him to heal your heart, so you can spread the good news of his everlasting love for us.

Two of my many Blessings

remember tomorrow is not promised, live for God today

Laura Story - Blessings - YouTube

Veterans Day

God Bless All who Serve

Thank you for protecting our freedom

10/28/2012

Clinging to Hope 

  

go to link:
 I can only imagine

It's October

How did that happen? How did a year pass and now life continues to move forward....Oh Nicole, we are still struggling every minute of every day. If not for our faith I don't know what we would do.

I knew how much I adored you, but I did not realize how much my life revolved around you,.... I know that sounds crazy to some, but when your child is sick....when your family understands that  Cystic Fibrosis is going to rob you of every thing "normal" you are consumed by it. You don't realize that your every breath is to save your child from this disease. Then it steals her away from you, your first, your soul, your grandson....you are left to say why? Why would this happen? How could this happen? We thought we did everything right. We spent day in and day out surrounded by your needs. Your sister gave you every second of her life to help make it easier, she made you laugh, she held you, she understood you, she protected you. You were the center of our world...and now we are left trying to figure out why?

I am crying, I can't seem to stop...the pain is excruciating, yet on the outside we appear  "normal". We are not "normal", parents don't bury their children. 

We are  trying to reconstruct our lives. Writing a new story. 

Imagine the life you think you have, you "planned it" you nurtured it...and one day it is ripped out from under you. 

You are left with EMPTINESS. 

GOD IS THE ONLY ANSWER HERE.

We are human, the human heart hurts...like no pain you can imagine. But the spiritual heart is where we turn. The heart that knows God, the heart that loves us, the heart of Christ that protects us when we suffer.

In all the agony we have felt, Jesus has held us, comforted us. That is the only reason we can live without Nicole. She was God's gift to us and anyone who knew her, that is the blessing. That is why we put aside our humanness and turn toward the God who gave us her life. 

Make no mistake

 God gave us Nicole to learn about life, about love,about sacrifice and about eternity with him.
 And so we say "Thank you God, for giving us the extreme example of life, of love, of sacrifice. Through you, we will survive this tragedy".

your last picture

10/02/2012

One Year Ago

Our house was filled with family and friends...

we said our last good-bye to Nicole and Robert Louis.

This morning as I remember this day, we buried the love of our lives, 

our first child, our baby always, and a precious grandson we never got to meet.

Our hearts once again trying to heal, 

we have already gone through every first without her. 

Except today, today as the skies opened up with rain, the tears fell all day.

This day was not the first but the last, the finality of never seeing her face on earth.

I will set my site on heaven...I will do whatever God asks of me.

The goal to be reunited once again, this is God's promise to us.

                          “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

It will be worth all the tears that fall.

9/28/2011

Our Beautiful Angel 

Loving and missing you, but cherishing that you belong to us for a while.
Thank you Lord for the Gift

Difficult Days Ahead

Sept 28, 2011

The day our world changed

As we approach this one year anniversary, I can't deny that we have relived the tragic moments of Nicole's struggle to fight for her life.
 Over those 21 days we reached out to all our family, friends and clergy. We asked for many prayers, but what we received was much more than that. 
We received countless blessings of God's love through relationships new and old. Many of you were on our prayer chain that stretched across the world, while our journey of faith took many twists and turns. 
Countless times our faith tested,but through it all, we remained and continue to remain faithful to God's plan. 

Over this last year, our human hearts continue to struggle, while our spiritual hearts continue to grow.

As this day can not be avoided,we will embrace it with quiet peaceful prayer, reflection on the beautiful life we were able to share,with an Angel that walked among us. Please allow this time to bring you to a peaceful calm trusting in God's grace and mercy.
Our Father in heaven holds our loved ones within his heart and reminds us that eternal life is our goal.
Recall your devotions,reflect on how Nicole has changed your life. Allow the God who consoled us then,console us now, and in the days to come.

Cherish your life,your families and friends,for we know not when the hour is at hand to be called home. For this reason alone we must remain with our sites on heaven and do God's work while we are here on earth.

Please continue to pray for us as we in turn have kept all of you in our daily prayers of thanksgiving.

Eternal Father thank you for the gift of Nicole's life and all she taught us to bring our hearts closer to yours, may we remain ever faithful, for without your love, this life is impossible but with your love all things are possible.

How Do You Live Your Dash
by Linda Ellis

 

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning ... to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears.
But he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

 

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

 

For it matter not how much we own;
the cars ... the house ... the cash.
What matters is how we live and love ...
and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;
are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

 

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what's true and real ...
And always try to understand
the way other people feel.

 

And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more.
And love the people in our lives ...
like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile ...
Remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy's being read ...
With your life's actions to rehash ...
Would you be proud of the things they say ...
About how you spent your dash?

Robert Louis 09/19/2011

  God …I don’t ask you to make my life easier…but I ask you to give me strength to endure the pain. Amen.

  Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow; the same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or  

He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.  

Be at peace, then. Put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations, and say continually: 

 "The Lord is my strength and my shield. My heart has trusted in Him and I am helped. He is not only with me but in me and I in Him."

Sept

This is the month we dread....the reliving of  Nicole's trauma

 

 We retreat to the shore, We put all our trust in God's never failing mercy.

Hard as we try not to go back to the suffering, you can't escape it.

Each hour,each day is recalled without trying.

 

Dear Jesus hear our prayers

Wash our tears away into the waves,warm our hearts with the sun, allow us a glimmer of hope,

we know she is safe with you in heaven.

Our comfort comes knowing Jesus has you in his arms

 

11 months

11 Months without you

 As the tide goes in and out so to do the emotions of our hearts.

 One moment we are smiling just thinking about you and the next we are crying because we miss you so much. Our love for the beach and the ocean hold a different meaning for us now...somehow, I think there is a message in the tides for us. To allow the emotions to come and go....to reflect and find peace in the waters that wash on the shore, just as the water of our tears fall on our cheeks. 

To love and trust in God, allowing his mercy to wash over us like the waves. 

 God's mercy is getting us through each day, every prayer lifts this family up to surrender to his will, trusting in his love,faith and hope that we will be together again.

When a parent dies, you lose your past;

 when a child dies, you lose your future.

 A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. 

A husband who loses a wife is called a widower.

 A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. 

 ...there is no word for a parent who loses a child, 

that's how awful the loss is

                           Holding on so tight, miss you my love

The Joy Fund Golf Outing

Yesterday was the first 

JOY FUND MEMORIAL GOLF OUTING

  

We all came together at West Point Golf Course, Joy Fund committee members,volunteers and 120 golfers. 

All focused on the same goal, raising money and awareness to cure Cystic Fibrosis.We were overwhelmed by the outpouring of kindness and generosity. The day was a great success, tears were in many eyes....Nicole would have loved to be involved in such an amazing day. From heaven she provided us with beautiful weather and touched the hearts of strangers who longed to know her. Her life and story told to many and so her legacy begins. We will continue to shine her light on this disease until a cure is found, so no other family has our pain. We are humbled by the donations of not only funds but the time given to help make this event a success. 

Our friends and families our new found supporters, we thank you from our heart and souls for all you did and will continue to do in our daughter's honor.

God Bless You and those you hold dear, and never forget 

"To Live for the moments that take your breathe away"

Setting up our registration table

Thank you Nicole for teaching us what is really important in this life

pictures from the event will be posted on the Joy Fund Website
www.thejoyfund.net

10 months

10 Months Without your smile.I found some new pictures of you today....

it was more than any treasure

Yes, we have changed

Speaking to other parents on loosing a child, I felt it necessary to repeat the grieving parent.

Bereaved parents need to know that others may minimize or misunderstand their grief. Many don't understand the power, depth, intensity, or duration of parental grief. In some instances, bereaved parents are even ignored because some individuals are not able to deal with the tragedy. They find the thought of a child's death too hard, too Inexplicable, or too threatening. Many simply don't know what to say or do and so they don't say or do anything.

Life is forever changed for the grieving parents, some people walk away from the tragedy, and although it hurts, you can not waste the energy it takes to understand why this happens. 
The grieving parents need to focus all their strength on God's grace and comfort. 
This is an impossible task without the much needed prayer and devotion to your faith.

We can not understand why this happened but we continue to trust even though the pain is overwhelming. We know that God has our loved one under his protection and somehow we must find that peace.

Grief is a tidal wave that over takes you,

smashes down upon you with unimaginable force,

sweeps you up into its darkness,

where you tumble and crash with unidentifiable surfaces,

only to be thrown out on an unknown beach,

bruised, reshaped.... 

grief will make a new person out of you, 

if it doesn't kill you in the making.

---

our sunshine

trying hard everyday

 

Summer was our favorite time...relaxing in the pool soaking up the sun.

Missing you everyday the sun shines