Wednesday night

Today I went in to work, it was difficult to be in a place that used to be so comfortable and now felt so foreign.
People you have known for a long time don't know what to say...I imagine it is difficult to find words, because there are no real words to comfort a heart this broken. You try and do your work and for a few moments things seem "normal" and then one of your favorite people walk in and you are crying and aching all over again. It will be like this for a long time I'm afraid...so what are we to do? How do we move forward when we choose not to. We pray for God's strength, that is the strength to over come all things.I will have to pray harder for this grace as my tolerance for petty things is gone. I can't and won't put up with the nuances of life that are trivial.  A loss of this magnitude has you looking at the world in a different way. These ears hear the ridiculous complaints that people find important and all you can think is "really?" are you serious, you are complaining about such nonsense and you have no clue to what is really important in life. I'm totally guilty of feeling this way before, but now it gets under my skin even more. I will try and lead by example to show the people around me to seek a different way of thinking. We all need to look deeper into the meaning of this life God has given us. So much is taken for granted. Every word we say to each other can have either a positive or negative impact. You can not retract hurtful words therefore why speak them. My father used to say "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" it has always remained with me and I lesson I'm glad I learned.
In the 24 hours of each day we have we can change a life by a kind word or gesture, we can all lead by example, turning your cheek. Forgiveness and kindness can go a long way. Look at the big picture instead of the incident...do you really need to make that point at the cost of hurting someones feelings. I have learned that sometimes the less said has the bigger impact. I struggled with that today because although the people I work with know my pain they are not living it... so its hard to see through my eyes. I will pray tonight like the children in my CCD class pray. With their whole heart, with innocence, gaining and seeking nothing for myself, but to be an example of God's love and mercy. Please try and make tomorrow a day you can be proud of, a day built around service of the human heart. Sleep well knowing God is right there.

 

I love and miss you my angel

I will continue to get your message to the world, one heart at a time, thank you for all the gifts you bring me.