Wednesday

Another day and night of many tears. You cannot control your emotions, although at times you move forward as if things are "normal", and out of no where, you are blind sided by this tremendous loss. You try and begin your day with new hope and somewhere it turns into overwhelming grief. You say and do things you don't mean, your heart aches so much that you don't want to breathe...prayer is the only thing that saves you. So pray is what I did, I continue to ask God to heal this heart, to make me accept as he made me accept 25 years ago the diagnosis of cystic fibrosis. He did not fail me then and I know he will not fail me now. I will place my trust and my heart in the hands I know can heal me. Today I will try a little harder to see the gifts over the grief. 
  Please my angel, stay with me today and through those eyes I love, show me how to live again.