October 2, 2011

Loved Ones,
I could not write last night, yesterday we had a private viewing of Nicole, just our immediate family. It was to prepare for today.
SHE LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL  A PEACEFUL ANGELIC LOOK ON HER FACE I'm grateful to Bonnie for allowing us to have some private time with our angel because I fear today will be hundreds of people attending with broken hearts. I will do my best to try and be strong for all the pain I'm seeing in the eyes of so many.... it will not be easy.
If you are attending or sending love and prayers are way, in advance I thank you. I'm sure I will not be writing tonight or even over the next day....but I never know if the Holy Spirit will call on me to connect to all I love, so it will not be in my hands.
My Love to All of you
responses to my e-mail:
My precious friend,  I don't know what today will bring.  I just want to wrap you, Louis and Tina in my arms and never let go.  I know I have to be aware of all the other people there but I will be one of those with so much pain in my heart.  I will also be strong for you and the family.   Know that I love you to the bottom of my soul and my heart aches for all of you.

 

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.  I am going to 
try and get to the Mass tomorrow morning but I offered Mass for both of 
them this morning.  Many tears have been shed here by my parents and I 
for you and the pain you are enduring.  We are with you in spirit today 
and always.  Our God will make His face to shine upon Nicole and her 
precious child today and always!

While we can't be with you, today, we are sending our love however we can.  
Mitch and I had a great conversation yesterday about love, faith and God.  Best 
conversation we have had on the topic of faith in a long time.  In Nicole's 
memory...in baby Roberts memory and in honor and respect to you and your family, 
we will love a little harder and continue to explore and nurture our faith.   
That is the very least we can do.  We will never let your families suffering go 
in vain.While we won't physically be with you today, Or tomorrow, I believe there will 
be physical bodies there on our behalf....so many people have been forever 
touched by Nicole's journey. 

It was truly a blessing to have Nicole as close friend and as the sister I never wanted. It's very rare that you meet people and they have such an immediate impact in your life. She always had kind words of encouragement and was truly a joy to be around. You have been an inspiration to me with your unwavering
faith and devotion. My heart goes out to you Lou, and Tina. I will be there Saturday and I will help you all in any way possible. 

Deb, checking on you....the boys just got home.  I am glad you got to see them but not this

way.  I still can't accept this....

Please say thank you to Lou for the flowers.  I was surprised and honored to receive

something from my baby's celebration of life, even though I couldn't be there in person.  

Thank you Lou...I will keep the angel always and cherish it.  xoxo

I heard from everyone that she looked like an angel. 

There was a picture of Nicole and Tina on New Years Eve and she was

wearing a white dress.  The minute I first looked at the photo more than

a week ago, I said "she looks like an angel right here with this dress on".

I hope that is the dress that Tina picked. 

 

 I have said this to many people who have been calling me all day today.

 Nicole's death was a special as her life was.  I don't know any one else

 who could move this many people to love so unconditionally, some not

 even knowing her or your family.  Although your words have been

 an inspiration to all, who are waiting on your next email.  You may

 have to start a blog. 

 

 A friend of mine who lives up by you came tonight.  Her name is Ellen.

 She has blond hair.   She is a year older than me.  Cindy forwarded the emails

 from me to her.  Ellen did not know Nicole or your family but she was so moved

 by your letters and Nicole's life that she had to come.  She said that

 she told your family that you didn't know her etc.  She said that

 everyone embraced her and said, "well now you are a part of our

 family".  I smiled when Cindy called and told me that.  That was a

 wonderful thing. 

 

Thinking of you without pause.  Sleep is difficult and smiles are hard to find 
right now....my heart aches for you constantly...if only there were a way to 
lift any of your pain....
Life is one roller coaster ride, but we are just visiting this material world 
and there are no guarantees.  I have been doing more soul searching in the past 
month than in a long time.  I will love more and be more giving because of you 
and your family.  I will complain less and try to seize each day.  I will 
continue my practice of daily gratitude which has changed my life over the past 
few years.  I will forever be thankful to have grown up with you and for being a 
part of your family.  I will forever keep Nicole, her baby and ALL of you in my 
heart.  
Buckets of tears....warm hugs...lots of love.  My guess is Nicole is looking 
down on the world wishing there wasn't so much...  There is definitely no cystic 
fibrosis in heaven......Nicole must furl so free....angel that she is.  Much 
love..

Dearest Deb and Lou,
I am sitting on the stairs in my home crying thinking of you, Robert, Tina and all of your family members and friends. Although I only had the opportunity to be with Nicole a handful of times, I feel as though I knew her a lifetime. My heart has been broken before, but never quite like this. I wish I could wrap my arms around all of you and absorb the pain.
I want you to know that in your time of need, you helped me in ways I could never repay you. I use to be a very spiritual and religious person, but along the path I lost my faith. Because of you and your beautiful family, it has been restored. I am forever grateful.
You are the most beautiful people I have met in a very, very long time. I am honored to know you and to share part of my life with you for however long that may be.
I will never stop praying for you, your family, Robert, Nicole or  baby Robert Louis. I ask the Lord to watch over you always, keeping you safe and allowing you an abundance of peace, courage and strength.
With all my love and a tremendous amount of gratitude,